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I liked this article by Rebecca Osborn because it gives 12 quick tips to keeping connected with your spouse. They seem almost too simple, but numbers 1, 4 and 6 alone would keep the love alive. When you feel important and you’re on the same page with your spouse, life just feels right, at least it does for me. My friend and I were just discussing number 1 today, making your marriage and spouse your priority. We had some very different viewpoints and I’d love to blog about it later when I have more time. But putting my husband first in my life has made a huge difference in our relationship. When men feel needed and appreciated and like they are number 1 to you, the whole relationship changes. They want to do things for you and talk with you and be with you. One of men’s highest needs is to feel respected and when you put him first and he knows it, he feels respected and in turn will treat you like a queen.

I’m going to print these tips just to have around as a reminder. Please let me know what you think of them by commenting. đŸ™‚

By Rebecca Osborn:

Whether you are 3 months married or 30 years, the busyness of life and the stresses of work can take their toll on your relationship. Everyday hundreds of people file for divorce. Why? One reason is that their marriage has become dull, boring and routine. This articles contains simple things that will reignite the spark that has disappeared from your relationship.

1. First, you have to make your marriage your priority.

Make a decision with your spouse to sit down and review this list of practical ideas for making your marriage great. Add anything that you think will work for you both that I have omitted.

2. Keep in touch.

Check in on each other during the day. Even it you happen to work in the same building, it is always nice to get a text or email saying ‘You are still as beautiful as ever,’ or ‘You still give me butterflies.’ Sometimes it is nice to know that your wife or husband is thinking about you.

3. Do the unexpected.

Surprise your spouse with flowers, a gift, or a night out on the town with no alternative agenda and expecting nothing in return. Planning something special is an excellent way to infuse romance into your relationship. Sometimes even the smallest surprises can feel like the biggest.

4. Talk about your personal goals.

Sit down together and talk about what you want out of life, what you want to achieve as a couple and personally. Write these down. Review them and modify them every few months. This makes you aware of what your spouse wants and their goals.

5. Develop and nurture friendships.

Have friendships outside of each other. Do not become an exclusive couple that never do anything with anyone else! We all need friendships to develop and grow us.

6. Do not criticize.

Do not put down or criticize your spouse in front of other people. Instead, decide that you will both commit to build up and support each other when talking to other people.

7. Keep yourself in good physical shape.

This may not seem important to you, but I am sure it is important to your spouse! Keeping yourself healthy not only will decrease the risks of diabetes and heart problems, but also help to keep the attraction alive between both of you. You do not have to spend a lot on a gym membership, you can go walking or jogging together each evening.

8. Plan weekend getaways.

At least once a year plan to go away for a weekend. Team up with another married couple and they can babysit your children while you are away and then you can return the favor. It does not have to be an expensive weekend but it is vital that you get this time alone to spend with each other.

9. Do not let the sun go down on your anger.

NEVER go to bed harboring offence or hurt with your spouse that you have not already discussed. If you were disappointed, hurt or upset with their behavior, discuss it. Do not enter into an argument but talk openly about what it was that bothered you and why.

10. Be quick to forgive and quick to say sorry.

Bitterness and offence is like cancer. If left alone it gradually keeps growing and growing until it takes over. Do not let bitterness or offence at your spouse take over the love you once had. Talk things through. If you need to seek outside help like counselling, do so.

11. Compliment your spouse.

Take time to notice everyday things that your spouse does like preparing a meal, cleaning the house, doing the shopping. This shows your spouse that you appreciate them and the things that they do and you do not take for granted the effort they put into it.

12. Be there.

Sometimes all your spouse needs is someone to be there, not to shout, order or demand, but to love and support. If they are having a difficult day, respect that and give them space if needed.

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