Sex in marriage is always controlled by the one with the least sex drive. It’s just a fact. So if you are the one with the lesser sex drive in your relationship, you have a huge responsibility to make sure your partners needs are being met so they don’t look other places to fulfill their needs. If you are the one with the higher sex drive, it’s your responsibility to keep your partner interested however you can.
For women it’s usually a catch 22, you need to feel emotionally connected to want to have sex, but a man needs sex before he can emotionally connect. Sometimes the best thing to do is have sex anyway, even if you absolutely don’t want to. Your man will feel loved and in turn, be more loving and connected and you’ll both end up happier. Usually the more sex you have the more emotionally connected you are, so even if you are the one not wanting sex, you should do whatever you can to have sex as often as you can.
If you are a woman and you aren’t satisfying your man chances are he will go get it somewhere else. Maybe not immediately, but with men it’s more of a need and not a want. I relate it to a man being thirsty and you’re holding a glass of water. You can share, you just don’t feel like it. He needs the water. If you won’t give him a drink and someone else offers him a drink he may say no for awhile, but eventually his thirst will win and even if he doesn’t want to, he’ll drink somewhere else. If you don’t fulfill their sexual need for long enough, they will look other places to get their need met. Just as women will look other places to get their emotional needs met. For some reason it just seems worse when it’s a sexual need being met.
If you are the one with the higher sex drive, find out what it is that gets your partner interested. Men are more visual and can usually get in the mood by seeing something sexy. Women usually need an emotional connection first, so yes men you will need to spend some time talking. Don’t make it obvious that the only reason you’re talking is to try and have sex. Women can see right through that after a few years. Find something you can both get passionate about and talk about that. Connect with your woman on some emotional level. They may not immediately want to increase the amount of sex you have but I guarantee it will pay off.
Sex is such a huge part of marriage. In the majority of marriages the sex drives are not equal. Whether you are the one with the lower or higher sex drive, you need to work to keep the passion alive. Studies have shown that the more sex there is in a marriage, the happier it is. I’ve researched a few books that will help keep the passion alive. Please click on the links and let me know what you think. Here’s to great sex and a great marriage!!
Click on the books for more information