Are you miserable? Do you fight with your spouse all the time and frankly you just can’t stand each other? Are you are tired of fighting and wonder if it’s better for the kids if you were apart? You realize if it weren’t for the kids you would have been gone a while ago. Your friends all tell you to leave, that you deserve to be happy and be with someone who makes you happy. What should you do?
I was in the same position a few years ago. We had tried counseling and it patched things up for very short periods of time, but nothing was ever fixed. My husband was constantly angry. I was always walking on eggshells around him trying not to set him off and also deeply resentful of him and the way he made me and the kids feel. I was happy when he was at work and miserable when he was home. I was tired of dealing with his bad attitude but I had no idea how to fix him and in turn fix our marriage. I felt hopeless and I just wanted to make the emotional pain stop. I thought the only way to do that was to get away from him. The only problem was I could never really get away from him. We have 3 kids together, which meant our lives were forever intertwined.
The only thing that kept me with him was our kids. I didn’t want to have to go to work full-time and completely change their lives. I didn’t want to send my kids off with him and have no control over how he acted with them. I didn’t want to sell our home and start over. I didn’t want my kids to have to deal with step parents and step siblings. There were so many things that went along with splitting up that were bad for them.
So I made a decision that changed everything. I decided to be happy and stay in the marriage. I decided to be happy even if he was miserable. I accepted that he was never going to change, so my only option was to figure out how to be happy with a miserable man.
It took me months to figure out what steps I needed to take and what I needed to do to make myself happy. But it worked! I figured out how to be happy in my marriage even when my husband wasn’t. The best part about it is that my husband did eventually change. He’s now the wonderful loving husband I always wanted.
So yes, please stay together for the kids, but don’t just stay together, be happy! Let me show you how, click here for information on marriage mentoring.
