Tammy Swafford

May 102017
Saving Our Marriage . . . My Husband's Story

I’ve written a lot about my marriage and what I did to save it.  Now it’s time to hear from my husband. I interviewed him and asked him to talk about how he viewed what was going on.  My husband’s story…. How was your relationship when you were first married? I don’t know if there are enough happy adjectives to describe how I felt when we were first married. When I was dating I made myself a mental checklist of attributes I wanted in a wife. I dated girls and when I realized they weren’t what I wanted, I’d break […]

Apr 262017
Help! 10 Things You Can Do To Improve Your Marriage Right Now

10 tips to improve your marriage now. There was a point in my marriage that I was just tired. Tired of fighting and tired of trying. It seemed like it didn’t matter what I did it wasn’t good enough. It seemed like divorce was the only option. Looking back I think it’s because I just wanted immediate relief. I think a lot of people feel that way and so they choose divorce just hoping to make the emotional pain stop. Unfortunately, that just leads to a whole lot of other problems. Fortunately, I chose to keep fighting  for my marriage, even […]

Jul 042016
Should We Stay Together For The Kids?

Should We Stay Together For The Kids? You’re miserable, fighting all the time and frankly you just can’t stand each other. You are tired of fighting  and you wonder if it’s better for the kids if you were apart.  But if it weren’t for the kids  you would have been gone a while ago.  Your friends tell you to leave, that you deserve to be happy and be with someone who makes you happy. What should you do? I was in the same position a few years ago. We had tried counseling and it patched things up  for very short periods […]

Sep 262014
Dating Rules For Teenage Children

We have always had the rule that our children couldn’t date until they were 16, but shortly before my daughters 16th birthday she was asked to prom. She was going to be 16 before prom so technically I had no reason to say no.  I immediately panicked… I wasn’t ready for this! She gave me no indication she even liked anyone so I wasn’t prepared when she wanted to go to prom. So I called my more experienced mom friends and asked what their rules were.  I quickly realized the ones with the best kids had clear written rules that […]

Apr 042014
I'm Sorry ~ How to apologize and make it count

I’m sorry… Apologies are hard. It means admitting you were wrong and you hurt someone else because of it. Pride tells us not to admit our mistakes. God tells us pride comes before the fall. The best thing you can do to improve all of your relationships is to learn how to  apologize. In this article I will give you an outline for a great apology, discuss how to apologize even if you don’t feel like you did anything wrong and what to do if your apology is not accepted. Every apology should follow the same basic outline. It makes […]

Jan 142014
My Spouse has a Miserable Attitude - How Can I Make Them Happy?

My husband can walk in the door and before he says anything I can tell he’s unhappy. He has a presence about him that permeates the entire house. The whole family may be in a great mood but if Dad comes home upset, that’s the end of that. My husband coming home upset used to be an almost daily occurrence. I would immediately start “walking on eggshells” knowing he would snap at any moment at me or the kids. I was running around doing whatever I could to try to make him happy.  However, no matter what I did he […]

Jan 132014
10 Steps to Happiness

Choose Happiness How do you choose happiness? What do people mean when they say to just be happy? How are you supposed to be happy in unhappy circumstances? It’s not always easy, especially when you’ve been unhappy for a long time, or you’re surrounded by unhappy people. The beautiful thing is, you can change and you can be happy. You can be happy in the most horrific circumstances if you know how. The problem is most people don’t know how. When I was at the lowest point in my life, when I thought my marriage was over, I learned to […]

Oct 112013
How To Deal With An Angry Spouse

I have a lot of experience dealing with an angry husband. When we were in the midst of our major problems, my husband was angry most of the time. When he would come home from work angry I would feel it before he even said anything. My husband is a big muscular man with a big presence, so when he’s angry I feel like it just oozes from every pore in his body and into our entire household. The whole house just takes on a different, uncomfortable feel. I used to feel anxious whenever he was home because I wasn’t […]

Jun 042013
My Spouse's Attitude Is Making Me Miserable… Should I Leave?

Is your spouse constantly crabby? Do they anger easily? Do you feel like you’re walking on eggshells trying to make or keep them happy? Are you miserable because of their attitude? Should you leave and find someone who makes you happy? When you’re living with someone who has a bad attitude, it seems like it would be easier to leave and find someone to treat you the way you should be treated. It seems unfair that their mood has such negative effect on you. You didn’t do anything, why are they treating you so badly. Should you leave? My husband used […]

Dec 312012
10 Resolutions For a Happier Marriage

Happy New Year!! I don’t know about you but every year I have a list of resolutions I make for the new year. They usually include eating healthy, working out daily, keeping my house clean, spending more time with my kids, etc., etc. But when I stop to think about it the one thing that makes my life the happiest besides my relationship with God is having a great marriage. When my marriage is out of whack it feels like my life is out of whack. This year I’ve come up with 10 resolutions to improve my marriage. I already […]

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